How To Be Self Confident
When I first started out years ago… I’d heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.”
When it comes to confidence, I believe this is terrible advice.
I believe confidence develops from 3 factors:
1. What You Focus On
2. The Core Beliefs I Mentioned Regarding “Fear of Failure” (see previous post)
Let me explain…
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON
I mentioned previously that it’s hard to focus on building wealth if you’re always focused on lack, poverty, poorness, etc.
The reason why is because that type of mental focus kills any imagination about possibility or opportunity.
The same applies to confidence.
If you’re so focused on screwing up, or not getting the end result you’re after… it’ll be difficult to have any confidence in seeing yourself achieve that goal, or even take action forward.
Instead, I recommend visualizing achieving your end goal. And asking open-ended questions that stimulate ideas about how you can potentially achieve your goal. This will stimulate possibility and opportunity, instead of shutting yourself down completely.
This leads to my next point.
Yesterday, I mentioned some core beliefs that I think you must have in order to get rid of your fear of failure.
I believe those same core beliefs apply to confidence.
Namely, you definitely want to see yourself achieving your goal. But you must also expect setbacks, which you must overcome. And you must also not make the mistake of identifying with failure.
Going in and faking confidence when you experience setbacks, in my opinion, is not helpful.
Does it really make sense to go into the unknown trying to feel confident about what you don’t know?
It’s like being dropped into a pitch black room and being confident you’ll find the exit on your first try. I don’t see how faking confidence here helps. Instead, focus on what you want to achieve, expect the setbacks, ask open-ended questions that present opportunities for you to take, and repeat.
This leads to my next point.
I believe true, lasting confidence can’t be faked. It must come from competence.
Competence, to me, simply means you’re sure enough that if you follow through on a certain action then you’ll get the result you’re looking for.
For example, most people tend to lack confidence when speaking in front of a large audience. I used to lack confidence as well. But that’s no longer the case. In fact, I’ve done presentations for marketing seminars multiple times.
So what changed?
I was competent in what I was presenting. In other words, I know what I’m talking about.
And how do I know what I’m talking about? Because I’ve spent years marketing online. And through those years I’ve experienced setbacks, overcame them, hit milestones, set new milestones, experienced setbacks, overcame them, and it repeats.
Again, for real confidence you must build competence. It can’t be faked. And of course, to follow through you must have the core beliefs I mentioned in place to achieve the end goal (mental focus) that you want.
Remember, I’m sharing all these mindset posts because it’s 100 times way more important than the “how to”.
Years ago, I had the same fundamental “how to” information I have now. Yet, I only experienced real financial breakthroughs when I started working on my core beliefs. The beliefs come before the action. And the disciplined action helps you reach your end goal.
But poor beliefs will result in lack of action, inconsistent action, or giving up entirely… therefore, no end goal will be reached.
I’ll put all my money on the newcoming entrepreneur that focuses the majority of his time working on mindset because I know I can teach him anything; and they’ll have the core beliefs in place to make it happen. On the other hand, I have zero confidence that the newcomer who continually seeks “how to” information will achieve the end result they’re after.